There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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