So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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