Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the condom got lost in my hair
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
