she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i dont even know how to be here
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
