I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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