We won't sleep together?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I pour the whiskey from now on
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
