lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
