Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
