he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My first STD was from a foam party
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
