the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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