Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
