I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
