At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
