the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
