i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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