margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
