I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
