Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
