if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
