It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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