Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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