Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
