Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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