when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
