THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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