the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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