we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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