i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
