im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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