My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
