Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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