Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
