Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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