Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
