The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
