Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
