Say something about gay babies.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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