What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
