I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
