She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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