guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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