Kiss
Puke
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
