your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
