Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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