I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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