I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He has the fingertips of a God
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