you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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