it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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