I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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