Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
