that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
