that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
