I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
